FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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