I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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