hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
