My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
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He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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