i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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