he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
