dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
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If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
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red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize