I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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