My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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