is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
