I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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