I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
