I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
cat food counts as protein by the way
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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