I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
