Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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