this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize