Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
