He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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