I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize