Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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