So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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