You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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