you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
