Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's never too late to be topless.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
