i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
