I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
