Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
