i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
