And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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