i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
