remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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