I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
