I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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