Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
