i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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