hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
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By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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