Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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