ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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