Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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