Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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