I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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