Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
