This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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