please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
