dude i'm inner monologue high
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
