Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
