Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
