When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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