we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
