im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
