maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's blow job season.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
