I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We left the knife in your bed.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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