I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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