thus making me awesome and them whores
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
This toilet bowl is my home.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
