Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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