Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize