The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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