Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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