Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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