had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
